You Are Killing Your Happiness [SOLVED]

This is going to be a short one.

However… this perspective shift has recently changed my life.

Maybe it can do the same for you.

Earlier today I shared this message with my coaching students.

I felt like it may be too important to not publicize.

If this resonates with you, feel free to share or engage here.

Any support or feedback is highly appreciated.

Here it is copy and pasted:

You said you want to be successful right?

Then it’s a matter of “WHEN”

…not “if”.

As humans we tend to create unnecessary pressure on ourselves.

We constantly are measuring TODAY against the big end-goal we want.


It makes no sense.

We literally WON’T have that big goal today.

But each day we beat ourselves up for it?

We somehow think we should have more than what we have today…

When in reality what we have today is EXACTLY what we should have, based on what we have done so far.

That big end-goal has different efforts that are required for it to occur.

If you are here, you have most likely started those new efforts. That’s amazing.

However…. We need TIME for our new efforts to compound.

Eventually they will lead to the big goal we want.


Yet we keep expecting that big goal so soon… we somehow want and think we should have it already.

It’s like… insanity.

How can you stop it?


Here’s what I have shifted to recently, and hopefully it’s something you can do yourself.

This recent perspective shift has made me feel happier, more excited about the day & generally more productive.

Ready for it?

Here it is:

Measure TODAY… based on what you did TODAY.

That’s it.

Here’s how it works in action.

Let’s say your goal is $150,000 per year.

The FIRST thing you must accept is that you are not there now.

You won’t be there tomorrow, and probably not the next day either.

Just. Accept. It.

So rule #1 is to NOT compare the way you feel TODAY against that big $150,000 a year goal.

You aren’t there yet… so you will feel like shit making that comparison and measurement.

Instead, have a clear list of DAILY action steps.

These will be the daily steps you need to do, in order to hit those big goals.

Ex: Connecting with 5 new potential clients, taking care of your physical health, etc.

So now here’s what you do every day.

You look at that list of action steps.

(keep em’ simple)

You do those steps each day.

At the end of the day here is your ONLY measurement question…

“Did I do what I needed to TODAY?”

If the answer is YES…

You have permission to feel the same excitement you would when you hit that $150,000/year goal.


That goal is now INEVITABLE.

You don’t need to measure against having it or not… (IF ☹️)

Because soon enough it’s all yours. (WHEN 😄)

You are doing what you need to do today. That’s all it takes.

See how this takes away the pressure we put on ourselves?

Now, life isn’t always easy.

Candidly there will be days where you don’t complete your list.

While this isn’t something to celebrate… it’s also not something to beat yourself up about.

The way you handle an incomplete day is by:

a) Not frequently missing your list

b) Having a plan to fix it tomorrow

If you do that, you’ll be fine.

I find myself and individuals in this community causing unnecessary pain to ourselves.

These irrational measurements and comparisons will literally steal the joy from your life.

You will stop liking what you do.

You won’t be motivated.

Your relationships will suffer.

Your success will actually come down to “If”.

You probably won’t hit those big goals.

…and the worst part will be when you realize you are the reason for all of it.

It’s time to adjust the way we think.

Measure today against today.

That’s it.

Stop looking down the road and asking why you aren’t there yet.

You’re moving… you’ll get there.

If you are doing what you are supposed to do, the world is yours.

The challenge is showing up and making it happen everyday.

But if you can do that… you don’t even understand how amazing your life will be.

In short… your journey has all of the answers you are looking for.

The destination will just be a reminder that you never gave up.

Hope this makes sense and helps someone here.

End of copy and pasted message.

For my Medium readers… replace that “big end-goal” with whatever it is in your life.

Maybe it’s a better business, marriage, body, etc.

Those big goals are beautiful.

Just remember where they fall in your timeline.

Connect with me on Instagram @KoryVonKahley

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